either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
