even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
