he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
