He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
