I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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