your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
