Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
