Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
