No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
