New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
