If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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