Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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