So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
