I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
