Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
