I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
