I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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