I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
