i think i have herpe
just one?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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