You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
