her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
