Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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