how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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