Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
