We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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