And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
