On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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