shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
two words...techno handjob
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
