I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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