Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Houston, we have a squirter
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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