I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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