He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
