I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Boobs speak an international language.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
