when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
