Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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