i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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