Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
