I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
