So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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