All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
