well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
