I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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