glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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