Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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