I think im going to throw up on grandma
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
