If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
