Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
