I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
