i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
