my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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